12 Questions from my Premarital Prep Workbook
Dating is so much fun, and being in love (or even in lust) feels wonderful. But how do you know if you can actually share and make a life with this person?
Is his six-pack worth living in Chicago when your dream city is San Francisco? Does her sense of humor make her student loan debt more manageable? Do you support one another's dream careers? How do you decide who gets to go first?
The following are questions taken from my Premarital Prep workbook. Talking about these issues, ideally with a relationship coach present, will help you mindfully co-create your future. You will be in a safe environment to hear one another's thoughts, and learn effective communication skills in the process.
Communication Styles
When you're trying to get your partner to do something, do you tend to be more direct, or expect them to read between the lines?
How do you like to show and receive love?
Conflict Styles
How do you tend to express your anger and frustration? Are you more like your mother or your father?
Which recurring conflicts can you live with, even if they don't get resolved?
Sex & Intimacy
What positive and negative messages around sex did you grow up with?
Imagine a couple who is absolutely satisfied with their sex lives and levels of intimacy, what did they do to get there?
Money
What is your biggest concern around money in your relationship?
Are you on the same page about saving and spending?
The Future Details
Where will you live?
How are you going to divide up the chores?
How many children will you have, if any, and how do you plan on raising them?
How much time do you want to spend alone together, with friends together, or apart?
Getting married is different from dating or even living together, in that in brings up much deeper and more complex questions. Marriage is a legally binding commitment that is not so easy to get out of, and for many, it holds moral and spiritual meaning as well.
Knowing yourself and your partner is key. Intentionally preparing for marriage can prevent challenges down the road and help transform the relationship from infatuation to a deeper love. Contrary to popular culture, that shift doesn't happen automatically, and is worth the effort to explore before tying the knot.
Schedule a call to see if Premarital Prep is right for you.
