Stress Triggers and Antidotes for each Personality Type
Not everyone reacts the same or needs the same kind of attention in a crisis. Here is a quick overview grouped by Interaction Style™, based on Linda Berens' work, that I hope you'll find helpful.
Put the oxygen mask on yourself first: if you don't know your preferences, consider which "usually" statement resonates most with you, and then "help" yourself.
Once you've done that, think about the people you live with. Which preferences do would they have? With that information, you can adapt your usual behavior to what might "help" them.
In-Charge™ - ESTJ, ENTJ, ENFJ, ESTP
People with these preferences are usually confident, capable, and driven to accomplish results.
They get stressed when things or they feel out of control, and when nothing gets done.
When stressed, they tend to "fight, then facilitate", i.e. might get bossy or angry, before eventually flipping into resentfully checking out.
You can help them and yourself by confronting the issue, explaining underlying reasons, assessing what is actually getting done, and using humor.
Chart-the-Course™ - ISTJ, INTJ, INFJ, ISTP
People with these preferences are usually focused, planful, and driven to see progress.
They get stressed when they don't know what's likely to happen, or when there's no course of action.
When stressed, they tend to "flee, then face", i.e. might withdraw and shut down, before eventually flipping into insistent involvement.
You can help them and yourself by taking time away to process and plan, being calm and direct, and letting them know what to expect and by when.
Behind-the-Scenes™ - ISFJ, INTP, INFP, ISFP
People with these preferences are usually laid back and open, and driven to integrate information to get the best result possible.
They get stressed when there isn't enough input, or when they are pressured to decide too quickly.
When stressed, they tend to "freeze, then flow", i.e. become outwardly quiet (but inwardly churning), and seemingly agreeable before flipping into a rigid stance.
You can help them and yourself by finding a way to be supportive and helpful to others, being friendly but not too expressive, patiently providing information and encouragement, and giving time for reflection and integration of information.
Get-Things-Going™ - ESFJ, ENTP, ENFP, ESFP
People with these preferences are usually gregarious, like to be involved, and driven to move things along.
They get stressed when they feel left out or unliked.
When stressed, they tend to "flurry, then focus", i.e. feeling scattered and panicky and getting overly expressive before flipping into selectively avoiding.
You can help them and yourself by finding distractions, listen as they talk things through, encouraging participation, and expressing your own ideas, thoughts, and feelings.
Let me know how it's working out for you?
